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Meaningful sex conversations

Sex Conversations

Sex and sex conversations can be one of the most intimate and pleasurable moments couples can experience. However, it can also be one of the terrifying things to deal and talk about with, even with a partner. ‘How Game Are You? Couples Intimacy game’ was developed as a tool to start conversations, reduce stigma’s, increase understanding and have fun.

This helps talking about sex finally having great sex conversations so that later on you can communicate better with your partner about specific topics in a more meaningful way. We hope you get to play the game and in the meanwhile, here is an article written by Miri Mogilevsk and posted at EverydayFeminism.com, talking about difficult sex conversations.

Five reasons talking about sex can be difficult:

  • Internalized Sexual Stigma. To be brought up in an environment where sexuality is stigmatized, it’s not easy to tell yourself no matter how you want to believe that there’s nothing bad shameful about it. This can result to being self-conscious, or being anxious talking about it.
  • Not Knowing the Words to Use. It’s sometimes hard to talk about sex because we just don’t know which terms we should use. To either use the more clinical or the vulgar ones. And basically, there’s nothing wrong or weird about using these terms but having gotten used to seeing them in health textbooks and dating sites chat messages, makes it a lot harder to use them in a more positive way.
  • Cultural Scripts About Sex. One good example, is how romantic movies portray couples hooking up for the first time in an amazing and passionate way. We are aware that this scenes are not truly real, but still many of us still ends up believing this fantasies.
  • Bad Previous Experience. You might have done this before and in an earnest way, but somehow .got a bad reaction from the other party. Doing it all over again with another person might just trigger fear of rejection again.
  • Past Trauma. If you have a history of sexual trauma, then sex is just not the right topic for you, even with someone already close to you. It might just bring up old wounds and scary memories.

But, whatever reasons you and your partner has now for not being able to talk about sex in your relationship, there are always ways to make it easier:

  • Use Checklists. The use of checklist are mostly common to the BDSM.kink communities, where potential partners need to negotiate and arrange their acts before they play. However, using checklist can also be helpful to the ones that do the familiar routine. This list can act like a menu in your favourite restaurant! This will allow you both to take what options and actions to take before that moment rather than during that moment. Here are two great example of list you can check from Autostraddle and Scarleteen.
  • Ask Them What They Like – And What They Don’t. If you partner is now more comfortable with a direct conversation about the matter, it’s sometimes a lot better to start it by asking them what they prefer rather than specifying your own. As you discover what your partner want to dos and not to dos, you might find out common grounds that would make talking a lot easier.
  • Share Erotica or Porn That You Like with Your Partner. If you’re the type of person who’s comfortable of showing you partner things that turn you on, then erotica and porn might help your partner understand and learn more of you preferences. Unfortunately, pornography has been overused nowadays that it turned out to be unrealistic. And this is an important fact that you should put in mind.
  • Take the Conversation Out of the Bedroom. Talking with your partner about sex while you’re doing it or just about to, is not really the best of time. The worst thing is the feeling that you’re just doing something you don’t like just to make your partner happy. Then, establishing these limits outside of the bed might turn out to be easier. You can always ask your partner for a good time to talk about it or just letting the conversation flow when it’s brought up in a discussion.
  • Remember That Sex Doesn’t Have to be Awesome Right Away. Sometimes people are just sexually incompatible. Sometimes people’s body are not just capable of what they want to do with each other. And sometimes people’s sex drive just differ. And apart from that, most of the time it’s just too much to put everything on the table the first time you do it together. So, after all it’s really okay along the way.

Good sex is a wonderful thing. Therefore, buy the How Game Are You? Couples Intimacy game to take things up a notch. The game is now available through our website, Amazon (US and AU) and Ebay (AU). You can view full details here or order your own copy of the game now and be one of the first to receive it. Let the fun begin and take your intimate relationship to another level.

Ways To Communicate In Relationships

Ways To Communicate In Relationships

On ways to communicate in relationships, it is often said that actions speak louder than words. However, we should also take note that words have its own place in a relationship. What and how you speak these words is one of the ways to determine how you value a person or a person values you. And that being said, communication holds importance in a relationship. Yet, in some cases, talking and communication can lead to arguments if not carefully dealt with including proper toning and word selection. We even tend to be more of the confrontational type which basically leads to nowhere and is an unhealthy practice. Whilst being communicative means you’re willing to work things together and play as a team.

Below Relationship Rules points out two of the best way to communicate in a relationship.

  1. Avoid using the word ‘should’ in your relationship and that is when talking with each other. Using this word implies you know better than your partner, airing dominance, and authority over him/her.
  2. Silence is never an option. We might think that keeping silent is a good idea to avoid any conflict altogether. However, this could lead to unnecessary resentments with feelings all bottled up inside and expectations not being met. It’s good to remember that you don’t have to hide what you want need/want to say, you just have to be careful with how you deliver it across.

And you may not always have that perfect talk all the time and getting into fights. Still, there are no fights that a good talk can’t fix. Certainly communication is one crucial part of a good happy relationship. Adding some fun like playing will surely keep the relationship fresh and exciting. Therefore, buy the How Game Are You? Couples Intimacy game to take things up a notch.

How Game Are You? Couples Intimacy Edition is now available through our website, Amazon (US and AU) and Ebay (AU). You can view full details here or order your own copy of the game now and be one of the first to receive it. Develop how you communicate with your partner and finally, let the fun and romance begin.

For the complete article please visit Relationship Rules and learn how to best communicate with your partner.

Making Relationship Close And Connected Again

Making Relationship Close And Connected Again

When we feel disconnected and unfulfilled in our relationships, we often believe that we need something more. Also sometimes at least something different from our partners for us to be happy.

However, being happy and getting what we truly desire has more to do with us being aware of ourselves. This includes understanding what intimacy really is.

In making relationship close and connected again, we think that to have the intimacy we desire. We have to spend a lot more time and have long deep talks with our partner. We tend to think back of the connection we have felt in the beginning and wish making relationship work again.

Why things are different in the beginning?

  • “In the beginning of my relationship I felt really close to my partner and we loved learning new things about each other. We spent a lot of time together, walking hand in hand and fully enjoying each other’s company. I felt a deep connection just by looking in his eyes and not saying anything. Everything felt good, easy. Then I couldn’t help but notice that something had changed. I didn’t feel as close to my partner as I’d felt in the beginning. Soon I realized what had caused this disconnect.” ~Heidi Paavilainen

What makes us feel disconnected?

In the beginning of our relationship, we use to live more in the moment, we want to know each other more, fully enjoy each other’s company and appreciate our partner more. However, as we get used to our partner, we start to live more in our heads.

Instead of experiencing the relationship, we experience our thoughts of the relationship and the other person.

We start to make assumptions about them and what they’re telling us, taking them a bit for granted.

What intimacy really is?

We fully experience intimacy when our head is in a natural state – peaceful. Intimacy is simply being in a clear and relaxed mind, fully enjoying each other’s company and having our focus on the other person, not thinking about anything else.

Because when your head in clear and relaxed you are able to take in life fully and appreciate the relationship more.

The Importance of Being Present

  • “When I feel a lack of closeness in my relationship, I know that it is time for me to quiet down. It is time to calm my mind and start to listen to my partner again.
  • Am I really hearing what he is saying, or am I listening to my own thoughts and judgments about him?”

Oftentimes, simply quieting the mind leads to a deeper level of connection not just to ourselves but also towards the relationship. It helps us to find again the closeness and intimacy that was often innocently lost as we are in a relationship for a longer time.

And at the same time as we listen and appreciate our partners, you are also helping them to quiet their minds and feel close to you again.

Learning to come back to the present moment again, brings out the best in each other. We might not be able to change that person, however, we can always learn to bring out the best in them and ourselves – experiencing more love and intimacy.

If you need some help in making relationship close and connected again, buy the How Game Are You? Couples Intimacy game to take things up a notch. How Game Are You? Couples Intimacy Edition is now available through our website, Amazon (US and AU) and Ebay (AU). You can view full details here or order your own copy of the game now and be one of the first to receive it. Let the fun and romance begin and take your intimate relationship to another level of closeness and connection.

For the complete article visit Heidi Paavilainen at TinyBuddha.com and learn more how you can feel close and connected with your partner again.

Restoring Intimacy In A Relationship

Restoring Intimacy In A Relationship

In restoring intimacy in a relationship, Marriage/Couples Counselor Nicola Beer points out the 3 main reasons why couples struggle to restore intimacy and connection after a breakdown. Below are some ways on restoring intimacy in a struggling relationship. Men and women view intimacy differently. Men and women tend to have a different view on what it means to intimate. And here’s how each views intimacy:

For men, intimacy is:

  • A physical connection.
  • Foreplay.
  • Holding hands, hugging, and kissing.
  • Physical time alone together.
  • Sexual intimacy.
  • Doing things together.

For women, intimacy is:

  • An emotional connection.
  • Sharing important issues.
  • Listening to things about their husband’s day.
  • Being able to cry about emotional events and experiences together.
  • Being emotionally aware when feelings are hurt.
  • Knowing one another’s hopes and dreams.

Fear of intimacy. This includes the fear of getting hurt and being vulnerable. Also the fear of rejection, the fear of failure or disappointment. Finally the fear of abandonment and the fear of being engulfed and losing yourself in a relationship.

Failing to recognise the 7 core areas of intimacy. We have our beliefs of what intimacy is and are sometimes being blinded by it. However, we fail to recognise that we need more than one type of intimacy for a relationship be lasting, fulfilling and close.

Here are the 7 types of intimacy that Nicola Beer identified in the most successful marriages.

  • Self Intimacy: Having a good relationship with ourselves.
  • Emotional Intimacy: This is learning to be vulnerable and expressing from your heart your true desires and even pain.
  • Conflict Intimacy: This is all about respect and being respectful even in when you’re in an argument.
  • Affection Intimacy: Showing you care with words, physical touch in a non-sexual way and even through thoughtful gifts.
  • Sexual Intimacy: Opening up intimately, feeling safe, desired, and cherished.
  • Dream Intimacy: To have a shared goal and supporting each other to achieve each individual goals and dreams.

Every successful relationship needs tending to keep it successful. Here’s another article on how to feel close and connected in your relationship again. Another good option is to buy the How Game Are You? Couples Intimacy game to take things up a notch.

How Game Are You? Couples Intimacy Edition is now available through our website, Amazon (US and AU) and Ebay (AU). You can view full details here or order your own copy of the game now and be one of the first to receive it. Let the fun and romance begin finally and take your intimate relationship to another level. For the complete article, visit Nicola Beer’s Save My Marriage website and discover more about restoring intimacy in a struggling relationship.

Improving sex life games

Taking Your Sex Life Up A Notch

Do you want to explore and expand your sexuality? Explore and expand your intimate relationship in taking your sex life up a notch. Here are seven steps (to be done largely in this order) to help you whether you are in an early days but highly charged relationship, or want to expand what you are currently enjoying and move to an even higher level.

Check in with yourself. What are your sexual wants, needs and desires. You can create a list of categories such as:

  • things you are already familiar with and enjoy
  • what you think might be interested in trying out with a long time partner
  • know that don’t even entice you a little bit.

What are your sexual blocks?

  • These are things that makes you want to run away and hide, makes you blush, shut down in silence.

Ask your partner to write up their own list.

  • See the overlaps in your list. You can take turns speaking or if you’re brave enough, exchange lists. Remember the list is not a binding contract that you have to entirely do what is listed. It’s just a list of suggestions/ideas to work on your sexuality within the relationship and open communication.

Aim to be overly safe.

  • Discuss thoroughly before you start any exploratory sexual play. It might be checking in first when the times seems right, before getting involved, or creating safety words. Your sex life, your rules.

Start small.

  • It can get overwhelming sometimes but start slowly and a step at a time. That way you will feel more comfortable and see each differences and changes with your emotional and physical intimacy.

Schedule sexual play dates.

  • You might think that this would be putting a schedule on your sex life and would possibly just make things boring. However, this is a dedicated sexual play date with the sole intention of exploring new territory with each other. Giving sex more time and space for it to be more fun.

Our favourite is of course all about increasing conversations and awareness around sex, and so we created the ‘How Game Are You – Couples Intimacy Edition’ game for couples and groups. We encourage understanding, connecting, laughing, learning and breaking down the emotional barriers we all collect around sex. Skills and awareness enhance intimacy and trust, and this leads to more fulfilling emotional and physical experiences.

If you need some help and some extra fun, buy the ‘How Game Are You? Couples Intimacy Edition’ game to take things up a notch. the game is now available through our website, Amazon (US and AU) and Ebay (AU).

View the full details here or you can order your own copy of the game now and be one of the first to receive it. Let the fun and romance begin and take your intimate relationship to another level.

Article excerpt from Jordan Gray, relationship coach at JordanGrayConsulting.com.

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