Whether you’re looking to expand a long-established marriage or just starting out with someone you’re dating, knowing the better relationship questions for couples to ask can make a big difference in the way you relate to each other.
Often couples at the beginning of a relationship try to second-guess what they think the other person is thinking or wants them to do, but this amounts to just a guess or assumption. Asking meaningful questions builds clarity, a solid base of facts for the relationship, people like to be listened to, connection ensues and it clears up the confusion that comes from assumptions. It’s not just about finding out where there are similarities or challenges, or if you are compatible. It’s about knowing your differences and understanding them so you can grow together and create better lives for yourselves and potentially your family.
Through fear of ridicule or just being shy, some couples that are timid or nervy around the relationship, so they don’t talk too deeply about their relationship or get into too much detail about each others needs or dreams for the relationship. The relationship often stays superficial with neither person’s needs being truly satisfied and adds to the risk that years later one of the parties may be attracted to another person that does understand them.
Other couples are open-minded but just don’t know how or when to have conversations that can help a relationship, or perhaps tried to hold a more meaningful conversation once but it didn’t work out so they gave up. Questions give people skills and direction to talk about their lives and future constructively, but like all skills you start easy and build-up, and the more you try often the better you get.
To help you out we’ve listed some different relationship question types as examples below. If you want it to be even easier and specific, we created a couples conversation game with over 150 questions that are ready to go, lots of fun, and we’ll list details at the end.
Questions are usually ‘Closed’ meaning they elicit a short answer like yes, no, maybe or a number etc. ‘Open’ questions encourage a broader answer, more words and more incite. Open questions are harder to work out and also to answer, but create a much better opportunity for understanding and follow on conversations. Basic questions can help get things started and are less confronting, and then you build to more personal or probing questions as your skills and trust in each other grows.
Basic closed question examples:
- Do you prefer to have time at home together or go out?
- Do you want to talk more about our relationship, or less?
- How much alone time do you need?
- Should we go to the movies Saturday or skating?
- If you are in a bad mood, do you prefer to be left alone or have someone to cheer you up?
Basic open question examples:
- How much alone time do you need and when is best?
- How are we best to divvy up chores?
- What couples activities do you like doing most on weekends?
- If we were to move somewhere else for more enjoyment or opportunities together, where could that be?
- What do you think about us having a set weekly date night?
More personal, open questions:
- How would you rate our relationship at present?
- When life gets you down, how can I support you the most?
- When do you most feel loved by me?
- How do you picture our relationship changing over the next 20 years?
- How do you feel about us getting more adventurous in the bedroom and how?
So the above examples give you an idea, but you also need to choose the right time for relationship questions to be asked. Somewhere quiet, no interruptions and when someone is fresh rather than tired is a start. You might also consider the right mood for you both to be in and how you start off.
To make things easy for you, and fun, we created a game that starts with basic, trivia and fun questions. You move to the next level which is more open and relationship-specific, then the third level is more about physical and emotional intimacy. An optional 4th stage is the sexy fun-oriented cards, if you dare. We gamified the questions too so each person gains more places forward on the board in response to more detailed or deeper answers.
So if you’re looking for relationship questions for couples to ask, you won’t get much easier or better than our How Game Are You?™ Couples Intimacy Edition game. It’s tasteful, meaningful, each game lasts 30 – 60 minutes typically and you can skip any questions you don’t want to answer. You can view the full details of the game here or Buy Now for quick delivery direct or through Amazon (US) and Amazon (AU).