Taking your sex life up a notch
Do you want to explore and expand your sexuality within an intimate relationship? Here are seven steps (to be done largely in this order) to help you whether you are in an early days but highly charged relationship, or want to expand what you are currently enjoying and move to an even higher level.
- Check in with yourself. What are your sexual wants, needs and desires. You can create a list of categories such as:
- things you are already familiar with and enjoy
- things that you might be interested in trying out with a long time partner
- things you know that don’t even entice you a little bit.
- What are your sexual blocks? These are things that makes you want to run away and hide, makes you blush, shut down in silence.
- Ask your partner to write up their own list.
- See the overlaps in your list. You can take turns speaking or if you’re brave enough, exchange lists. Remember the list is not a binding contract that you have to entirely do what is listed. It’s just a list of suggestions/ideas to work on your sexuality within the relationship and open communication.
- Aim to be overly safe. Discuss thoroughly before you start any exploratory sexual play. It might be checking in first when the times seems right, before getting involved, or creating safety words. Your sex life, your rules.
- Start small. It can get overwhelming sometimes but start slowly and a step at a time. That way you will feel more comfortable and see each differences and changes with your emotional and physical intimacy.
- Schedule sexual play dates. You might think that this would be putting a schedule on your sex life and would possibly just make things boring. However, this is a dedicated sexual play date with the sole intention of exploring new territory with each other. Giving sex more time and space for it to be more fun.
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Article excerpt from Jordan Gray, relationship coach at JordanGrayConsulting.com.