How To Restore Intimacy And Connection In A Struggling Relationship
In an article by YourTango, Marriage/Couples Counselor Nicola Beer points out the 3 main reasons why couples struggle to restore intimacy and connection after a breakdown. Below are some ways on how you can solve those issues.
Men and women view intimacy differently. Men and women tend to have a different view on what it means to intimate. And here’s how each views intimacy:
For men, intimacy is:
- A physical connection
- Holding hands, hugging, and kissing
- Physical time alone together
- Sexual intimacy
- Doing things together
For women, intimacy is:
- An emotional connection
- Sharing important issues
- Listening to things about their husband’s day
- Being able to cry about emotional events and experiences together
- Being emotionally aware when feelings are hurt
- Knowing one another’s hopes and dreams
Fear of intimacy. This includes the fear of getting hurt and being vulnerable, the fear of rejection, the fear of failure or disappointment, the fear of abandonment and the fear of being engulfed and losing yourself in a relationship.
Failing to recognise the 7 core areas of intimacy. We have our beliefs of what intimacy is and are sometimes being blinded by it. Yet, we fail to recognise that we need more than one type of intimacy for a relationship be lasting, fulfilling and close. Here are the 7 types of intimacy that Nicola Beer identified in the most successful marriages.
- Self Intimacy: Having a good relationship with ourselves
- Emotional Intimacy: This is learning to be vulnerable and expressing from your heart your true desires and even pain.
- Conflict Intimacy: This is all about respect and being respectful even in when you’re in an argument.
- Affection Intimacy: Showing you care with words, physical touch in a non-sexual way and even through thoughtful gifts.
- Sexual Intimacy: Opening up intimately, feeling safe, desired, and cherished.
- Dream Intimacy: To have a shared goal and supporting each other to achieve each individual goals and dreams.
For the complete article, visit Nicola Beer’s Save My Marriage website and discover more about restoring intimacy in a struggling relationship.