Making Relationship Close And Connected Again
When we feel disconnected and unfulfilled in our relationships, we often believe that we need something more or at least something different from our partners for us to be happy.
However, being happy and getting what we truly desire has more to do with us being aware of ourselves, and this includes understanding what intimacy really is.
We think that to have the intimacy we desire, we have to spend a lot more time and have long deep conversations with our partner. And we tend to think back of the connection and intimacy we have felt in the beginning and wish it would feel like that again.
Why things are different in the beginning?
“In the beginning of my relationship I felt really close to my partner and we loved learning new things about each other. We spent a lot of time together, walking hand in hand and fully enjoying each other’s company. I felt a deep connection just by looking in his eyes and not saying anything. Everything felt good, easy. Then I couldn’t help but notice that something had changed. I didn’t feel as close to my partner as I’d felt in the beginning. Soon I realized what had caused this disconnect.” ~Heidi Paavilainen
What makes us feel disconnected?
In the beginning of our relationship, we use to live more in the moment, we want to know each other more, fully enjoy each other’s company and appreciate our partner more. However, as we get used to our partner, we start to live more in our heads.
Instead of experiencing the relationship, we experience our thoughts of the relationship and the other person.
We start to make assumptions about them and what they’re telling us, taking them a bit for granted.
What intimacy really is?
We fully experience intimacy when our head is in a natural state – peaceful. Intimacy is simply being in a clear and relaxed mind, fully enjoying each other’s company and having our focus on the other person, not thinking about anything else.
Because when your head in clear and relaxed you are able to take in life fully and appreciate the relationship more.
The Importance of Being Present
“When I feel a lack of closeness in my relationship, I know that it is time for me to quiet down. It is time to calm my mind and start to listen to my partner again.
Am I really hearing what he is saying, or am I listening to my own thoughts and judgments about him?”
Oftentimes, simply quieting the mind leads to a deeper level of connection not just to ourselves but also towards the relationship. It helps us to find again the closeness and intimacy that was often innocently lost as we are in a relationship for a longer time.
And at the same time as we listen and appreciate our partners, you are also helping them to quiet their minds and feel close to you again.
Learning to come back to the present moment again, brings out the best in each other. We might not be able to change that person, however, we can always learn to bring out the best in them and ourselves – experiencing more love and intimacy.
For the complete article visit Heidi Paavilainen at TinyBuddha.com and learn more how you can feel close and connected with your partner again.