Building Intimacy through connecting more…
A happy and successful relationship is all about time. And when life’s buzzes take over, here’s a summary from Jamie Long, on 12 thirty-second ways to connect more with your partner:
- Daily touch. Human needs physical contact, it’s one of our most basic needs! A kiss or a hug will always create a difference as you both start your daily routines. And make sure to make it last at least 30 seconds.
- Be curious. C.A.R.E. (Consideration, Attention to health and wellness, Responsibility i.e. taking responsibility for one’s action/attitude not blaming others, Expression of Love, Kindness, and Compassion) and ditch the obligatory “How was your day?”!
- Side with your partner. Allow your partner to vent to you with his/her simple or little quarrels with someone else and practice siding with him/her even if he’s in the wrong. You can maybe have the comments on a different interaction.
- Express Gratitude. Let your partner know how you appreciate him/her today even for just that simple breakfast shared together before going to work.
- Sleep naked. It appears that removing the outer barrier (pajamas) is a quick secret to staying active under the covers. 😉
- Relive a memory. Remember a funny story, a touching and sweet moment, or look through old photographs. Remember what brought you together when things feel disconnected.
- Create new memories. Even just simple ones, they really don’t have to be that splendid, even just creating a new routine before bedtime that you both will enjoy will definitely do.
- Listen to him or her. Assuming your partner is feeling or thinking can slowly damage one’s relationship. Practice listening to them and understand the stories behind things.
- Share a laugh. As Dr. Gottman explains in The Relationship Cure, all that playfulness requires is a “willingness to turn toward another’s sense of silliness… and have a little bit of fun!” Humor can sure reduce tension and lighten the mood. Think of those things that make you and your partner laugh and share it.
- Expressions of love and kindness. Preparing a simple breakfast or dinner, a sweet note stuck in your partner’s car/pocket or a message via a steam on your bathroom’s mirror. Little yet acts filled with love and kindness.
- Flirt. Talk about sex with your partner, wear something you would wear on your honeymoon, think as if it’s your first date.
- Turn off the electronics. Keep your mobile devices off and do #11.